How do you refuse your boss when he wants you to work late without him thinking any less of you or questioning your commitment to the job?

How do you say no to a good friend when you don’t want to hurt their feelings or jeopardize your friendship?

How do you turn down your favorite aunt’s invitation to dinner when she proudly tells you she’s making her infamous Sardine  Casserole? 

Knowing how to say no with tact and gracefulness in situations like these is a valuable social survival skill. Save yourself from an offensive faux pas, or even worse (gasp!), saying yes when you really want to say no. Here are 8 invaluable tips for saying no politely:

1. Always be kind

Say no with kindness and be gentle in your approach. Be courteous. Demonstrate your good manners and sensitivity. Don’t hesitate to express regret, say thank you or apologize, even if only for the simple reason that they were hoping you would say yes and may feel disappointed.

For example:

“I’m very sorry but I have to say no.”

“Thank you for thinking of me, but regretfully, it’s not something I can commit to at the moment.”

2. Give an explanation why

If you have a plausible reason for saying no, don’t be afraid to explain it. Giving a brief explanation allows the other person to understand your reason, elicits empathy, and goes a long way towards dispelling any potential ill-feelings.

For example:

“I’m sorry, Mr. Bullwhip. I wish I could stay, but I just can’t work late today. I’m coaching my son’s Little League game this evening.”

“I’d really like to take on the job but I’m already tied up with another project this week. My apologies.”

3. Say it with a compliment

Try to include a compliment whenever possible. A little praise gives the person something positive to focus on and makes it much easier to accept the negative.

For example:

“Your cooking is always so delicious, Aunt Burndet. It kills me to say no, but I can’t join you for dinner tonight. Will you please save me some?”

“You did a great job on this proposal. I’m very impressed, but I’m afraid I have to say no at this time.”

4. Suggest another solution

Suggesting an alternative option shows your willingness to be helpful and can motivate the person to think about other possibilities instead of dwelling on your refusal.

For example:

“I can’t do it myself right now, but have you considered asking Aunt Burndet to help with the menu? I bet she’d love to do it!”

“Regretfully, I’m fully booked at the moment, but I have a few great referrals I’d be happy to share with you if you’re interested.”

5. Say “not now” instead

When the situation warrants it, saying “maybe later” or “not now” might possibly spare you from having to give a definite “no”. Use this tactic sparingly, however. While some people may never ask again, you can expect some people to be persistent, and they could become suspicious if it’s somehow never the right time.

For example:

“That sounds like fun, but I’m just not up for it today. Can I take a raincheck?”

“I wish I had the time, but I really can’t right now. Perhaps we could do it another time?”

6. Buy some time

Depending on the situation, sometimes stalling can get you off the hook. There are polite ways to postpone giving your answer, and they might not ask again. At the very least, it would give you more time to decide how you want to answer if they do continue to ask.

For example:

“That sounds really interesting. I’m going to have to think about it though. Can I let you know?”

“I appreciate the invite but I’m not sure what I have going on that day. Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”

7. Try a little negotiation

When the answer isn’t a simple no and you might be willing to participate in some way, don’t be afraid to try a little negotiation. Offering a compromise demonstrates that you really do care, and it just might be a perfect solution!

For example:

“I’d love to help you move but my back has really been bothering me lately. Could I bring my truck and just be a driver?”

“I can’t come into the office on Saturday. I’ll have my kids with me all weekend. I wouldn’t mind working on the case from home though, if that works for you?”

8. Be honest about your discomfort

If a request makes you feel uncomfortable, sometimes it’s okay to just be honest about it. Showing a bit of vulnerability may be enough to dissuade the person from wanting to impose on you, especially when they comprehend your feelings on the matter. 

For example:

“Thanks but no thanks. Rock climbing is not for me. I have to confess I’m afraid of heights! I hope you have a great time though. I’d love to see pics when you get back.”

“I’m sorry. I’d like to help but I have a strict policy against loaning money to friends. Please don’t be mad, but please don’t ask. Honestly, it makes me uncomfortable.” 

Now that you’ve been armed with these helpful tips, you just might find it a little easier saying no politely. Good luck! (And whatever you do, watch out for Aunt Burndet’s Sardine and Tripe Casserole!)

The post Learning English: 8 Great Ways To Say No Politely appeared first on Linguix Blog.

Yet salary negotiation is a key part of securing a job, as well as climbing that all-important career ladder. But what kind of language can you rely upon to safely navigate the negotiation process? Are there magic words which you can call upon to make all your dreams come true? It may not quite be that simple, but here are seven expressions that will certainly ease the process along:

1) “I’m happy and excited to work with you”

Start positive. It’s really important that you get a good negotiation off to a good start, so by uttering this phrase, you have included a couple of very positive adjectives (happy and excited), you have revealed your high levels of motivation (always good for an organization to see) and you have also positively expressed that you see this as a team collaboration, which once again will impress upon management that you are a team player and will only bring benefits to the company.

2) “I have done some research and…”

Research. It’s a powerful word. Show that you have adequately prepared for this negotiation by using these sorts of powerful words which reveal your professionalism and knowledge of what you speak. It strengthens your position, and impresses those you are negotiating with. It may also lead managers to think twice about trying to pull the wool over your eyes, but don’t be cynical in thinking that this is what everyone is trying to do.

3) “Market”, “Value”, “Competitors” and “Worth”

Four words for the price of one this time as you utilize more expressions which reveal a high level of research and preparation. Remember this is not about what you believe you are worth (even though it may be the case that you do believe that, and if you don’t then no one will), but in terms of negotiation, it is what the market says you are worth (you have done your research, remember!)

Your negotiation will be that much stronger if you are able to justify why you believe you are worth what you quote. And why are you worth that? What is your value to your company? And what are the company’s competitors offering to employees of your ilk? If you go into a negotiation armed with this level of detail, and use these words to add gravitas, you are in a much stronger position.

4) “Are you flexible with that offer?”

So the number that you have been offered wasn’t exactly what you were looking for, or maybe it’s a case that you think you can eke out just a little more. Rejecting the offer flat is a battle cry, and that may create conflict. Softening your language by asking a question using a word such as flexibility is a great way to show your feelings without being overly aggressive or awkward. You are simply putting the ball back in their court. Well played!

5) “If you can do that, then I’m in”

And if you have a number that you are happy to settle with, then why not spell it out accompanied with a phrase such as this? Once again, you have put the ball firmly back in the court of the business, and now you just need to wait and see how they react.

6) “Can I take some time to think it over?”

You are perfectly within your rights to take a little time to mull over your decision (although not too long, of course). In fact, this way of playing it cool usually works in your favor as an employee, in that offers are hardly ever reduced or withdrawn in this period, and you may indeed see an increase in that offer.

But again, don’t think of this as a game, think of this as some valuable time to consider all of your options, because this is an important decision to make. But if you do want to make a counter-offer, you also have time to think about what a good counter-offer would be in the context of what was said in the original negotiation, as well as more time to conduct more valuable research which can back up your counter-offer should you wish to make one.

There is one more benefit of using this tactic too – you may choose to take the negotiation onto email, allowing you to articulately phrase your counter-offer, and why you think that is a fair reflection of your value to the company.

7) “Thank you”

Okay, so this one is simple, but never underestimate the necessity for good manners, even in a salary negation. No, especially in a salary negotiation.

There may be disagreements on figures, the value that you bring to the company, your worth, and even what the market price is for your position – you can expect that even – but it doesn’t take away from the fact that you should always be grateful for the opportunity to negotiate your salary, and grateful for the opportunity to continue to prove your value and worth.

This is not always about gamesmanship and getting the upper hand, but very often a polite and respectful conversation which can have an amicable and positive result for all parties: treat it is as such, and your chances of success will be much greater.

The post How-to: 7 English Expressions To Successfully Get You Through Salary Negotiations appeared first on Linguix Blog.